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Sunday, December 25, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
On Christmas Eve, we received a wonderful blessing. SNOW! This is actually the second one of this season..which is totally crazy for West Texas. It snowed a whole lot and Zoee, Mike, and I enjoyed stepping out in it and playing for a little while. Mike and Zoee frolicked around and we took some adorable pictures. Zoee loved it and she liked opening her mouth and letting the snowflakes fall in her mouth. She also liked that Daddy had a snowball fight with her. She is so sweet in these pictures.
She was chunking one at me..ha ha
My two cuties!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I titled this Semi-Diagnosis..because that's exactly what it was. I went to see the neurologist the next day and was so upset, worried, all of the crazy emotions you could imagine having when getting a diagnosis. My blood pressure was 175/105..that's how nervous and hyped up I was. I sat down and started crying when the nurse came in and was asking me questions. And it wasn't a small cry..it was a sob. It took him a while to come into the room (of course) so I straightened up a little. He told me because I was not able to get an MRI in the closed MRI machine, that I was going to have to go to Midland and do one in their Open MRI machine. I asked if I could be sedated..apparently that isn't an option around these parts...so I told him he has to give me something for anxiety cause I would not be able to do it, if he doesn't. He prescribed me something and scheduled it for Tuesday at 5:30. Who makes people wait all day for this thing?? REALLY! He said he got a look into what my brain..but not good enough to determine a final diagnosis and supply a treatment plan. He said that I do have a tumor/mass growing behind my left eye pressing on my optic nerve. Right then at that moment--I thought of Zoee..what would happen if I wasn't around to see her grow up? I thought of Mike having to take the responsibility of living without me and raising her. I thought of my parents possibly having to bury one of their children and couldn't imagine that being a Mom myself. I thought that this could possibly be my last Christmas to spend with my family. I thought that I am forever going to be labeled.
I will find out the final diagnosis on Wednesday. I will find out what it is..if it's cancerous/benign, I will find out if it has lesions --meaning Multiple sclerosis, I will find out how big it is, if it's operable and what exactly the game plan. Of course, I already want to go for a second opinion. I'm not too fond of my neurologist when he told me he didn't care what my blood pressure was. You should of seen my Dad's face when he said that.
On Friday, I went to see an internist. He gave me a full body physical. And when I say full body..I mean FULL BODY! They took some more blood to run the blood work that the neurologist didn't run. He put me on a different blood pressure medication..which seems to be helping me feel a little better. I do get headaches on my left side..which is understandable..and I'm still having period problems. Hopefully they can figure all that out this week and put me on something different to regulate it..cause what my OBGYN gave me last time did not work. I write this not only as some details for family and friends, but also as reminder for myself in this whole process. Here's hoping that everything goes smoothly this week and I will find out what is going to happen. I am praying that God will help me through this and guide me in the way he wants to. It's very hard to understand why these things happen..but they do!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I am basically falling apart. I wished I could say I am ending this year on a good note..but sadly, I'm not. It all started back in about November. I wanted to get healthy, so I started this Fat to Fab Challenge with some of my close friends. We weighed every Monday and took our measurements. It was a fun way to get our kiddos together to play and to enjoy each other's company while making it a friendly lil' weight loss competition. We did this for 12 weeks...ending the week of Christmas. Crazy, I know doing a weight loss challenge through the holidays..but it actually worked really well. I lost over 15 lbs and almost 20 inches off of my body. This is where it all went downhill. Because I was eating better and feeling better, I wanted to work out. So I joined the YMCA and had a friend of mine go with me. We were working out in the water Monday through Friday. We did this for almost a month when my foot started to hurt. Hurt is actually not a good word..killing me to walk on it even is a better phrase. It's hurt on and off for about two years..I chalked it up to me gaining so much weight after having Zoee, but I had enough after starting to work out and it just killing me..even getting out of bed or getting up from rest. So now, I'm stuck in a boot I have to wear for six weeks to stay off of it. I had been having an abnormal period too..which was driving me absolutely crazy...literally. My hormones are so out of whack all together. I think because of my PCOS, I'm having a hard time getting back on track and then with losing a few pounds, it messed them up even more. This leads me to the major problem going on.
On December 15th, I was sitting on the couch playing with Zoee. All of a sudden, I got this glaze over my left eye. I thought it was one of those gooey eye boogers you can get over you eyeball..so I went into the bathroom cause it wasn't going away just me messing with it. I looked in my eye and there was nothing there. I thought..that is so crazy cause I was unable to see out of half of my left eye. So the day went by and I was freaking out even more. Because it was a late Thursday, I made an appointment to see an optometrist for the next day. I was surprised they got me in so quick. I went in and the optometrist dilated my eyes, examined really well, and said..I don't see anything wrong with your eyes. You must be having an ocular migraine, by what I described to him. He said go home and rest and it should go away in a couple of hours. So I did...nothing was changing. I still could not see out of my left peripheral of left eye. I made an appointment to see an opthalmologist on Friday..cause I didn't want to have to deal with this over the weekend. He did the same thing..dilated my eyes..looked really good in them and said he sees nothing. He told me it's definitely not a migraine if there has been no improvement. He told me it has to be something neurological. I told him I probably wouldn't be able to get in to see a neurologist for a while, huh? He said..No, he was calling and making an appointment for me cause this could be very serious. That's when I started to have different feelings about everything. I was able to get an appointment on Monday for a neurologist. I did not know what to expect, not ever having to go to one of these types of doctors. He did an exam on me, ran a vision evoked potential test, and ordered an MRI. He said it definitely has to be neurological. Tuesday the MRI was scheduled. I went in I laid down (not a great place to get an MRI..they explained nothing) She stuck ear plugs in my ears, pushed these really hard rubbery things up on the side of my head, and then stuck this halo-like cage thing on top of my face (I could literally feel my breath). She gave me a button thing to push if I freaked out. Needless to say, I never got to use it..cause I freaked out before even getting all the way into the MRI tube. I didn't think I was claustrophobic..but apparently I am when it's in that confined of a place. I never wish that on my worst enemy. IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! I told her I could not do it. She went and called the doctor and he said he wanted to go ahead and do a Cat Scan. It wouldn't be as good of a test..but he could at least tell what is kind of going on in my brain.
They took me directly across the hall to the Cat Scan room. Asked me a whole bunch of questions and said she needed blood work. She hooked up the IV and took my blood at the same time. She needed 7 vials. By this time, I was quite whoosy and not thrilled to say the least. She at least explained the procedure and believe me, I asked a ton of questions. During this particular Cat Scan, they put me in the machine..took a bunch of before pictures and then they injected me with Dye and then scanned some more. The dye procedure was very awkward. You become very warm all over your body and you feel as if you pee your pants, but you don't. It's so weird. They got the pictures they needed and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Oh my..Christmas has come and gone. My intention was to do the 25 days of Christmas for you guys..but my poor health got the best of me and I was unable to do it. I will share many pictures with you that I have taken the rest of December though. So Enjoy when I get them posted!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
We had our MidessaMommies Christmas party tonight at Casa Ole'. I had a lot of fun laughing with the girls and getting away for a few hours tonight. I gave the girls some candy in this cute lil' tin from Hobby Lobby. I resigned as Events Manager the night before so I will no longer be heading up events for MidessaMommies so this is like my last hoorah for events.
We met Jennifer (on left) tonight for the first time ..she's sweet and beautiful!
We met Jennifer (on left) tonight for the first time ..she's sweet and beautiful!
Friday, December 9, 2011
We didn't do much today but lounge around in our pajamas. I made a wreath (probably my last one for this season..maybe). Zoee LOVES her new Hello Kitty Backpack. We bought it for her the other day so she can take it with her when I start back working out in a few weeks at the YMCA again. It's really cute! :)
Although the title of this is December Delights..this is actually just randomly thrown in so I put it first up...but needless to say it's NOT a delight to wear this boot. I have to wear it for 4-6 weeks and see if my pain goes away by staying off of it as much as possible. I have two HUGE spurs on my left foot and plantar fasciitis. NOT FUN! It's extremely painful..especially in the morning or when I've been resting for a while. Very hard to just get up and go and take off walking.
Zoee enjoying her some eggnog..All grins!
I love this face of hers...it's the "I really am innocent, Mom"!
She looks just like me in this picture..crazy! She is of course pestering Gizmo..poor dog!
This is hilarious! The turkey set in on Thanksgiving and Dad took a lil' siesta right at the table. HA HA! You know when you are getting older when you take a nap sitting straight up! :)
Here are some pictures I found on my phone today from Thanksgiving. I had mentioned that I didn't take any pics..but I guess I did take a few with my phone. Here is Ethan with his new cool cut. It was very traumatizing for Jillery and I..and I bet just as equally for him. We should of done it early in the day and not waited when he was tired. But it turned out SO adorable!
Here's precious lil' Lillian Joy... She's so sweet and beautiful!
Mike really really loves Lillian..he just loves babies! He wouldn't let her go this night..and Zoee helped feed her..which she is slowly warming up to her more and more.
HA HA..So funny!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Today we did absolutely nothing..nata..zip except eat, read, play, and watched TV. I needed to clean my dirty house because it's piled up since I haven't been able to stand very much...but I put it off yet another day. Since I want at least one picture for my 25 days of Christmas..here is a pic of Sleeping Beauty! Oh wait..no, that's just Zoee snoozing. But isn't she a beauty?? I think she looks like my Dad here. I sent it to him by text and told him she looks like him and he said oh..she's wonderfully fantastic then! LOL Sounds like Dad, huh?
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
We attended our play date of Jolly Jumping at the Jumping Party. Zoee loves this place..but they really need some major upkeep. She always has a ton of fun with her friends.
Afterwards we went to Chick-fil-A and had some lunch and played some more. Zoee got her finger smashed in the door and this couple sitting right beside her didn't even get up from eating to help her. I heard her screaming and ran over there (gimpy and all in my boot) and there they sat..just watching her. Thankfully she didn't hurt it very bad..it was caught in the door just good enough to be a little painful..but not bad. It was a day of injuries because my friend that was with us went to pull her chair out and her finger got caught between the chair seat and the metal part and it ripped her fingernail up (right in the middle)..man..it looked really horrible and her vagel response kicked in cause she was so sweaty and I thought she was going to pass out right there. She was bleeding all over the place and it was just not a great experience at Chick-fil-A that day for us.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Today I received an email from my friend, Katlyn. Apparently she knows Gimble the Elf cause Zoee's email ended up in her inbox. She forwarded it to me (HA HA) this is what it says:
Happy Christmas to you!
Santa has asked me to send you this letter by email. Here is the link:
Click here to collect your post from Santa!
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Head Postmaster Elf
North Pole Post Office
(We have such great friends...Katlyn actually did all of this and sent it..too adorable!!)
I cannot believe how fast this year has just flown. She is officially 2 years and 9 months old. We have already started thinking about her 3rd birthday. HA HA I just can't believe how much she has grown this year, either. She still weighs the same. 37 pounds and is over 3 feet tall. She is talking sooo much and sometimes too much. She is definitely a social butterfly (like her Mama)..well, Mike is pretty social, as well, so she picks up on a lot of it. She has been making tons of friends and has a few "special" ones that we hang out with during the week. I love that she's learning to make friends and share. It's so hard not having a sibling (something I hope that we can give her soon). Lord knows she needs one..cause poor Gizmo has about had it with all the pestering..LOL She gives him heck..and I can't believe he just sits and takes it. He's very protective of her, too. Zoee has been singing a lot lately. She is learning more songs and has a great voice already. I'm wondering if she is going to be musically inclined. I'm musically inclined and Mike's art inclined..so I'm thinking she's going to be very whimsical and artsy in some sense or another. She loves to dance and asks me about every other day if she can go to dance class. We are planning on starting her in classes after the New Year. She loves to play with her ponies, Barbies, still loves to read, and is more into playing dress up and delves into her play kitchen a lot. She is not much into TV anymore. She still likes to watch the Disney shows but is more about watching movies now. I guess cause her attention span has broadened..ha ha! She's quite the active lil' socialite. She's potty trained completely which was a big accomplishment for her. She even wipes and washes her hands all by herself...EXTREMELY independent. Won't let me help at all now, which makes me a little sad..cause she's growing up way too fast. But she still enjoys snuggling. :) Her favorite word these days is "NO". She says "Don't NO me. " Meaning don't tell her "No". It's hard not to laugh sometimes..cause we have to stand our ground and punish her for things she does wrong..but sometimes they are just so funny. She's extremely dramatic. She doesn't throw too many fits..mainly just when she is overly tired. She's growing out of her toddler bed..cause I've caught her on the floor a few times this past week. We are going to be switching her to a twin size very very soon. We just love her so much! She's so charismatic and sweet. She's very helpful when asked to do something. She loves loves loves her Grammy and PaPaw and asks for them daily. She also loves her Aunt JJ (Jillery Joy) and Ethan. We just spend our days going on play dates, spending time together..learning and having fun. I'm trying to soak every minute of it up!
Monday, December 5, 2011
This morning Zoee awoke and I gave her some cereal. When I told her to hurry and eat so we could go outside..she was confused..because she knows it's cold outside. I told her God had sent us snow and she was thrilled. This was her face of astonishment..ha ha! We went outside and frolicked in it for only a couple of minutes cause it was bone chilly. If I could find her winter coat..she would of stayed out there longer. I can't seem to find it anywhere..:( It was soo cute, too! But even though she only ran around for a few minutes..she loved every minute of it and I love that you can see the sheer joy on her face!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Ethan's 2nd Birthday party was held on December 4th..his actual birthday this year. He's growing so fast and is just a cute lil' stinker. He had a Cars themed birthday and we had a great time. I was sooo mad at myself because I took so many pictures at the birthday and then on the way home..I guess I hit the wrong button on my camera and erased everything. I was soo mad cause I didn't realize it until I went to upload them that they were missing. So I will have to wait to post more when Jillery gets her CD of the girl who took the other pictures. Here is one of them I stole from them and it's adorable!! He's a BIG BOY now! :)